Book Review : God, Marriage, and Family

I know without a doubt that I’ll be referring back to God, Marriage and Family by Andreas J. Köstenberger for the next 40-plus years I expect to be alive, granted that I don’t die or Jesus returns. In this book Köstenberger gives a thorough analysis of what the Bible teaches on the institutions of Marriage and Family. Here’s a key statement from the book:

Both the Old and the New Testament present a coherent body of teachings pertaining to marriage and the family. From the Garden of Eden, to Israel, to Jesus, to the early church, to Paul, all uphold a very high standard in this crucial area of life. While countless times individuals fell and will fall short of God’s ideal, Scripture makes clear that the Creator’s standard for marriage and family remains intact—it was instituted at Creation, and is expected of humankind today. In this as well as in other areas, in the first century as today, Christianity towers above pagan cultures and displays the character of a holy God in the lives and relationships of his people. (275)

This book was honestly a challenge for me mentally, as the book was written at more of a pastor/scholar level. Also, I found that some of the topics were more interesting to me than others, requiring a bit of discipline, but that is my weakness and not the book's. Overall it was well worth working through this book to not only deepen my understanding of what the Bible teaches, but to also familiarize myself with it, knowing I'll be returning to it again and again as a helpful resource. Not only does Köstenberger spend a great deal of the book attempting to address everything the Bible says about marriage and family (Old Testament and New Testament), but he also thoroughly addresses many moral issues associated with family: divorce, abortion, birth-control methods, homosexuality, singleness, etc.

One thing that struck me as I read this book was the impact ignorance can play these areas of life. For instance, early in our marriage, when Kerry and I were trying to decide which “family-planning” method to use, we did not only lack in our understanding of how these methods actually worked, but we also lacked a biblical understanding of the sanctity of life and when life actually begins (inside or outside the womb). We thank God that our understanding deepened before we were married, and were thus able to avoid methods that were “abortive” in nature, but had we not sought out biblical wisdom and discernment in these issues and instead gone with our "natural" inclinations, we would have likely made a deeply regrettable decision. Köstenberger wrestles with issues like these in-depth and gives some helpful and practical guidelines for discernment.

The resources toward the end of the book are outstanding (171 of the book’s 448 pages are resources for further study!), and the overall format is easy to use as a reference. Not only do I plan to turn to this book much in the future, but I would highly recommend this book to anyone, especially elders, parents, or students of the Bible.

Classic Education

A very good article on self-education by reading, and how to read well.

Book Reading Progress Report

I knew it would be more difficult than it seemed to read and review one book every two weeks. So far, I've stayed somewhat on pace (reading A Praying Life and Family Driven Faith in January), though I've always got to weigh priorities carefully. Often the most important use of my time is not reading a book, but completing some other task or spending quality time with my wife and kids. There is honestly precious little time to devote to reading at home, and so many books I long to read. Right now I've started or am close to midway through the following books:

• God, Marriage, and Family by Andreas J. Kostenberger
• Seeing With New Eyes by David Powlison
• The Trellis and the Vine by Colin Marshall and Tony Payne
• How to Read a Book by Mortimer Adler

At this point, I think that in order to make some real headway I need to put all of the books but one on the shelf, and that one should probably be God, Marriage, and Family, since it's been next on the list for quite a while, and because it's a slower read due to its "theological density". It's been a very good book, but I don't want to be reading it for the next year!

So I'm going to try to make a little more headway tonight and hopefully have God, Marriage, and Family done by the end of the week.

A Higher Step : The Sympathy of Christ

The following is an excerpt from "The Love of Jesus, What it is, None but His Loved Ones Know", delivered by C.H. Spurgeon on June18th, 1862. I've been listening to some of these on my way to work (listen/download to it here), and every time I am in awe of the fact someone could ever speak with such power, eloquence, and wisdom.

"...But I want to take you higher than this; not higher in some senses, but higher really, for these raptures are, of course, only like angels' visits, few and far between; but here is something which may be more lasting, and which, certainly, is a higher state of mind as to the knowledge of Christ. To know Christ sympathetically, is a yet higher stage than any to which we have attained before. What do I mean by this? I will show you, first of all, what I do not mean. We will suppose ourselves standing on the brow of the hill with Jerusalem in the alley below. Jerusalem is to be destroyed by the Romans; the decree has none forth that its sin must be punished. Now, here is a brother who holds very high doctrines in his head, but who has not much sympathy in his heart. Come up here, brother. Do you see that city there? That is all to be destroyed! Do you see its streets? They are all to be crimsoned with blood! Do you see its temple? Not one stone of it is to be left upon another! What do you think of it? 'Well,'. says he, 'if they are to be saved they will be saved; if it is in the purpose and the decree it will be so. I am sure I am very sorry if they should not be, but I do not see that it is any particular business of mine; the Lord will have his own, and it will all be well.' Get down, sir! What do you know about the love of Christ? Nothing! Give such a man as you that text, 'He beheld the city and wept over it,' and you would not know how to preach from it, for you do not know the Savior's heart, and have not known his love. But bring hither another man; he holds the same doctrinal truths, but he looks down on the city, and what does he say?

'Oh, fain my pity would reclaim
And snatch the fire-brands from the flame.

'Lord, what must I do? Give me anything to do for them! My heart's desire and prayer for them is that they may be saved;' and the tears begin to flow, and when he turns to the book and reads that Jesus beheld the city and wept over it, and said, 'If thou at least in this thy day had known the things which belong unto thy peace,' he says, 'Well, I do not know how to explain that to my doctrinal friend; I do not know how to make these feelings quite square and tally with the doctrine; but somehow or other I know there is no disagreement, for I feel the one is true, and I also feel the sympathy in my heart; I know that God will have his own, but I hope he will have them through my instrumentality; I believe that his chosen will be brought in, but, O that it may be my happy lot to bring in some of them to the praise and the glory of his grace!' 'Why,' some professors say, 'I am not my brother's keeper.' No, but if you are not, I tell you what are- you are your brother's killer! You are one of the two. If you say you are not your brother's keeper, rest assured that you are a Cain, and that you will be your brother's murderer, for we either do good or hate. It is impossible for us to be devoid of influence. If the rill runs through the meads it makes them fertile; if you dam it up and make it stagnant, you have not destroyed its influence. Ah, no, you have only changed it into a fetid pool and its influence shall curse the valley with disease. So with a good man, if he serves his Master, he is scattering mercy abroad; but let him, if it were possible for him to do so, let him cease to serve the Lord and become idle, and then he scatters miasma, plague, and death. Oh, do we know the love of Christ by feeling it in our own hearts? There are some of us who can say that we have felt that we could do anything for souls. When we have heard it said of the Master, 'He saved others, himself he cannot save,' we have felt that we would not spare ourselves if God would only spare them; and when Paul said he could wish himself accursed from Christ for his brethren, while commentators have been spelling that over, and cannot make it out, we have had sympathy with it, and have been able to say, 'We have felt the same;' we have felt that we could even be lost to save others, and we have said, 'Let my name perish; let me be forgotten if my congregation may only be saved; if my children may be blessed; if my hearers may be converted to God.' Men in this state know Christ's love after a wonderful and marvellous sort. May God teach you each this way. May he help you to weep like Christ, to work like Christ, ay, and to be ready to die like Christ, if it were needful by such means to bring sinners to their Savior and their Lord. O that we could get here! I know my dear brother, the pastor of this Church, would desire nothing more for you than that you might know Christ's love by feeling it in your hearts. O that Christ would come and look out of these eyes, and weep down these cheeks! O that he would speak through these lips, till it should not be the old self, man, that thought, and spoke and acted, but the new-born Spirit of the Lord Jesus that had come into us and possessed us with a higher and a nobler life, that we might spend and be spent for him."