Book Review : Tactics

Two months ago, the very thought of bringing up spiritual topics with those of "opposing views" would have terrified me. Even after reading several books on evangelism and going through the Way of the Master program through my church, I had very little confidence in my methods for bringing up spiritual concerns, let alone in how to make the best use of the opportunities that came up on their own.

I have finally read a book that has completely changed my mindset. After reading Tim Challies' review, I knew had I had to give the book a try, and I was not disappointed. The book is called Tactics, and is written by Gregory Koukl, who, according to the back of the book, "holds MA degrees in both apologetics and philosophy", and has "spoken on many college campuses and hosted his own radio talk show for 18 years defending 'Christianity Worth Thinking About'". So now let's talk about the book...

The first two chapters of Tactics lay some foundation on why Christians should "argue", addressing many of his readers' reservations along the way. Koukl describes how one needs three basic skills in order to effectively represent Christ, or in other words, to be his ambassadors in the twenty-first-century: knowledge, wisdom, and character. He says:

These three skills-- knowledge, an accurately informed mind; wisdom, an artful method; and character, an attractive manner-- play a part in every effective involvement with a non-believer. The second skill, tactical wisdom, is the main focus of this book.

Koukl later defines what he means by "Tactics", saying that they involve focusing on the situation at hand, designing your "particular responses to particular people so you can begin to have an impact in specific situations". He says tactics can help because they offer techniques of maneuvering through difficult situations.

The first and most valuable in terms of flexibility and adaptability of all of the tactics is what he calls "Columbo". In fact, half of the book is dedicated to this tactic. Here's how Koukl describes it:

The key to the Columbo tactic is to go on the offensive in an inoffensive way by using carefully selected questions to productively advance the conversation. Simply put, never make a statement, at least at first, when a question will do the job.

For me, the Columbo tactic was by far one of the most helpful concepts that I gleaned from the book. The three basic steps to the tactic, each step having a chapter devoted to it, are:

1. Gather the facts ("What did you mean by that?")
2. Reverse the burden of proof ("How did you come to that conclusion?")
3. Lead the way

Koukl points out many of the advantages to asking questions (instead of responding with statements. For instance:

• Questions are friendly and flattering
• You'll get an education
• Questions allow you to make progress on a point without being pushy
• Carefully placed questions put you in the driver's seat

He goes into great detail using hypothetical (but common) situations to illustrate the tactics behind the Columbo method. This is the "Game Plan" section of the book.

The second half in the book goes into the nitty-gritty tactics for finding flaws in peoples' arguments. Some of these "deconstructions" were really helpful for me, such as the section on the "prohibition of proselytizing", or sharing the Christian faith in an attempt to influence someone to become a Christian. When someone objects, saying "You should stop trying to change other people's religions views," their statement has a fundamental flaw, because by making that statement, they are trying to change the Christian's religious views, which command sharing the gospel to all people.

However, I could see many people objecting to how "simply" Koukl points out flaws to some of the more complicated theological issues. For instance, his section on Theistic Evolution is so simple that there's no way it would persuade a theistic evolutionist (see some of the discussion on Challies' blog).

Overall, I found Tactics to be an excellent book on discussing spiritually issues with in a non-offensive manner. The message is offensive enough, without the messenger getting in the way. I certainly will be coming back to this book again and again in years to come.

Trevin Wax's Top 10 Books

Check them out here and have a chance to win them all, plus an ESV Study Bible!

Manly Men of God

Ray Ortlund offers three ways to create a culture of "manlyness" that is "intensely felt, openly demonstrated love between manly men of God".

Book Review: Peace Like a River

As I navigated the final pages of Leif Enger's first novel Peace Like a River, my heart was thumping and tears were welling up. This book affected me deeply. In fact, after finally completing the work a week ago I would venture to say it was one of the most powerful illustrations of the Christian life that I have ever encountered. And in many ways, I would argue, it portrays a vivid and gripping "Biblical" understanding of what true godliness looks like. Here's a few thoughts on the Leif Enger's work:

Peace Like a River is told through the eyes of eleven-year-old Reuben Land, who speaks with the sort of voice you'd find in a Mark Twain novel, fresh and unique. To illustrate, here are the opening words of the book:

From my first breath in this world, all I wanted was a good set of lungs and the air to fill them with-- given circumstances, you might presume, for an American baby of the twentieth century. Think about your own first gasp: a shocking wind roweling so easily down your throat, and you still slipping around in the doctor's hands. How you you yowled! Not a thing on your mind but breakfast, and that was on the way.

When I was born to Helen and Jeremiah Land, in 1951, my lungs refused to kick in

My father wasn't in the delivery room or even in the building; the halls of Wilson Hospital were close and short, and Dad had gone out to pace in the damp September wind. He was praying, rounding the block for the fifth time, when the air quickened. He opened his eyes and discovered he was running-- sprinting across the grass toward the door.

"How'd you know?" I adored this story, made him tell it all the time.

"God told me you were in trouble."

"Out loud? Did you hear Him?"

"Nope, not out loud. But He made me run, Reuben. I guess I figured it out on the way."

As you read on, Peace Like a River unfolds in riveting fashion-- I'll leave the surprise to you. But what really captured my imagination was interplay between the life of a man completely devoted to God-- Jeremiah Land, Reuben's father-- and the world about him, which was filled with every kind of evil. The reality that this world is not our home and is in fact hostile to God is painted with a flavor of real truth. This worldview is nowhere as clearly defined as it is at the end of the first chapter in the words of Jeremiah Land:

We and the world, my children, will always be at war.

Retreat is impossible.

Arm yourselves.

So many other "Biblical" truths are played out in Enger's story, as well: the consequences and destruction that follow disobedience to authority, the moral dilemmas of speaking truthfully verses lying, the interaction between God's sovereignty and human choice, the goodness and love of God... And then there's the subject of "miracles", which is to the narrator of primary importance. As Reuben pondered the amazing miracles God performed through his father, beginning with the first miracle of raising Reuben from the dead as a baby, he said the following:

I believe I was preserved, through those twelve airless minutes, in order to be a witness, and as a witness, let me say that a miracle is no cute thing but more like the swing of a sword. (Itallics mine)

Overall, Leif Enger's first major novel appears to be one that may stand the test of time as one of the best under the category of Christian fiction. Read this book. I think you'll like it.

Also worth checking out: What John Piper has to say about Peace Like a River .

On reading books...

For probably many reasons, my passion for reading books-- particularly nonfiction-- has dramatically increased over the past few years. It is simply an incredible way to interact with the world's greatest teachers, and to glean wisdom and understanding from great men of faith.

The only problem is that:

1. I'm a slow reader
2. I read too many books at the same time, thus rarely "finishing" them
3. I have higher priorities that demand time away from reading
4. I don't really have a lot of training in how to really "read" a book, how to interact with it and ultimately be able to reconstruct the main arguments to the satisfaction of the book's author, and I don't know how to make helpful notes for future reference. Things like this...
   

So I have begun a project of sorts to reform my reading habits. I'll have a great opportunity to improve, as I have a lot of reading material to work through. Here is a growing list of books which I plan to read through next year, in no particular order:

1. Peace Like a River; Leif Enger (A fiction book, I'm almost done with this one)
2. God, Marriage, and Family; Andreas J. Kostenberger
3. Christless Christianity; Michael Horton
4. War of Words; Paul Tripp
5. Future Men; Douglas Wilson
6. How to Read a Book; Mortimer Adler. (I'll read this as soon as it's available from the library!)
7. Heaven; Randy Alcorn
8. Worship Matters; Bob Kauflin
9. The Cross Centered Life; C.J. Mahaney
10. Successful Christian Parenting; John MacArthur
11. Grace-Based Parenting; Tim Kimmel
12. Tactics: A game-plan for discussing your Christian convictions; Gregory Koukl
13. Seeing with New Eyes: Counseling and the Human Condition through the Lens of Scripture; David Powlison
14. Lectures to my Students; C.H. Spurgeon
15. Speaking the Truth in Love; David Powlison
    
16. The Treasure Principal; Randy Alcorn
17. The Pursuit of Holiness; Jerry Bridges
18. Respectable Sins; Jerry Bridges
19. How People Change; Paul Tripp
20. Desiring God; John Piper
21. The Momentary Marriage; John Piper
    

So here's the plan. For the first time ever, I'm going to read each book, one at a time. And I'm going to make it a goal to read one book every two weeks. This means that with the current list I should be able to finish all of the books by late October of 2010... I've got a good start right now with the first book, Peace Like a River, which should be finished sometime in the next couple of days.

The second part of the plan is that I will write some sort of a review of each book I read and post it on this blog.

I'll end with an encouragement to all of you out there, to look at your own reading habits. Are there any adjustments are resolutions you'd wish to make for the upcoming year?...

Sesame Street Thanksgiving

Why Read the Bible? - Part 4

A Final Exhortation

I'm not exactly sure how to describe this, but over the last few weeks, one thing has been made clear to me, and it is this: as I surrender and turn from my own will to do things my way, and fall on my knees in full submission to the Lord, not only is my affection for His Word and my desire to pray dramatically increased, but it is as if a veil is removed and I am able to see the beauty of the Lord and joyfully behold his glory. My former way seems like silliness, like a mere trifling, and I long for this "clearer vision" to sink deep within my heart and soul and take hold of my will. I suppose it may also be important to note that this "clearer vision" and "awe" I experience is so easily snatched the moment I get up and begin to navigate through life's affairs. But the point is this: the Word of God is useless to us if we are seeking to go our own way. But it is the great teacher to the man who seeks the Lord and all his ways.

This makes sense, I suppose, but I find that we often try to find ways to improve our "devotional life" without first repenting of going our own way, and surrendering all we have to God. It is part of our sinful nature to want to go our own way.

So of all of the additional things I could say about why I or any other Christian should read the Bible, my final exhortation is to repent of going your own way. Without this, you will read the Bible for the wrong reasons, twisting scripture and using it for your own agenda. Repent of this before anything else.

God is not silent, for He has spoken through the prophets and apostles, and most of all speaking to us in the form of God and man, Jesus Christ our Lord. Read the Word, that "you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to Him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God." (Col. 1:9-10)

Why Read the Bible? - Part 3

Analogy from "the Body of Christ"

Yesterday Pastor Tim used the human body as an example of what the "Body of of Christ" (1 Cor 12:27) should like be like, and how we need one another to "function" as God called is to, based on the gifts and abilities God gave us.

Now, it occurred to me how important the immune system is for the body. Without a healthy immune system, outside viruses will come in and disrupt the functionality of the body, even leading to death. In many ways the Bible, too, has an "immune system" function, enabling each part of the body to fight off the enemy's attacks and stay on track with what we're called to do. There's many other analogies, but to focus on this one you realize that temptations and attacks are constant, which is why Paul calls the church to take up "the Sword of the Spirit", which is the Word of God, "praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication." (Eph. 6:10-20)

Have the Word of God readily available, for the days are evil. Read it, meditate on it, memorize it, know it well with all prayer and supplication...

Why Read the Bible - Part 2

From Duty to Delight

Let me first say that if you have any desire whatsoever to read the Bible right now, do that instead of reading this blog post, since my prayer here is that God would give you a desire for His Word... but if you lack desire, may these words be of encouragement:

"Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked,
nor stands in the way of sinners,
nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
but his delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on his law he meditates day and night.

He is like a tree planted by streams of water
that yields its fruit in its season,
and its leaf does not wither.
In all that he does, he prospers.
The wicked are not so,
but are like chaff that the wind drives away."

I have come to a realization over the years that, whether we know it or not, we are in a battle for our desires. Test what I'm about to say with scripture, but I would contend that worldly passions which diminish God are at war with passions that glorify God. And I plead with you to not be deceived by the things that war over your desire, for they are pulling you away from the source of life, the Word of God. From the moment you wake up to the moment you lie down-- newspaper, television, food, movies, music, video games, hobbies, sports, dreams, ambitions, money... all of these demand your heart's attention. But they will not satisfy. Pray, pray, pray for God to give you a desire for that which is more precious than all of these. Pray unceasingly (2 Thessalonians. 5:17) for a desire to know Him and to read the God-breathed scriptures (2 Tim. 3:16-17). There is so much more, but this is the beginning. This is the constant battle for our desires.

"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever." (1 John 2:15-17)

Have the courage to pray to God and ask Him to make clear to you the things that are stealing your desires. Maybe even ask a brother in Christ if they see something you don't (this takes a lot of courage). Then ask God what He wants you to do, praying and searching His Word for answers...

Make the most of every opportunity, and sink your roots deep. May you be like that tree planted by the streams of water, yielding fruit and never withering.

The Marks of Manhood

Al Mohler gives the 13 marks of male maturity.

Why Read the Bible? - Part 1

Late last night, in honor of "Reformation Day", I sat down with my wife's family and watched the movie "Luther", which from all I can tell is a pretty accurate account of Dr. Martin Luther's role in reforming the Christian Church. It's the second time I've seen the movie, but the second viewing certainly hit home far more than the first.

I think the main reason for this is that I've read the Bible more in the past year than probably every other year of my life combined, and my love for the scriptures has seldom been as consistently high as it has in 2009. Yes, there's still books of the Bible I haven't read, but I have had an unprecedented desire to hunt for truth, to seek counsel and understanding from God, to be affected by His Word.

So when I watched "Luther", it really hit me to realize the cost Christians before us have paid for this book, that we might have the opportunity to read the Holy Scriptures for ourselves, to not have to depend on the interpretations of Priests who may not have even studied the Scriptures themselves, but to study the God-Breathed scriptures with my own eyes. Countless great men of faith gave their lives for this Book.

So what has happened in our time? What did men like Luther see and feel and know that we don't? Why do most Christians in America today own 5 Bibles and read none of them? Why do most Christians lack a strong Biblical understanding of what the Bible actually says about life issues? When we counsel one another, why is it not saturated with Scripture? Why do we not tremble with humility and reverence before the Word of God?

One possibility is that we are not truly a Christian. We must test ourselves:

"Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!" - 2 Cor 13:5

However, if we are truly saved by our Father-- that is if we have placed our faith and hope for salvation and life in Christ alone and not in ourselves-- then there must be other reasons why we don't devote ourselves to scripture the way we ought, and why our hearts don't yearn for it more than anything in this world.

So here's the point: I want to desire God's Word far more than I do now, and I want my brothers and sisters in Christ to love God's Word, too. For the next couple of weeks I'm going to dig into why it's important for us to read the Bible in hopes that not only my desire will grow, but that I would also be able to persuade and encourage many others to make Bible study a significant and passionate part of their lives.

Bible reading plans...

Here are several reading plans recommended by Justin Taylor.

Memorize ESV Passages via MP3

If you want to download and transfer passages of the ESV to an iPod (or any MP3 player), here's how.

HT: ESV Blog

Christ-Centered Parenting with Young Children

A good Q&A from C.J. & Carolyn Mahaney, check it out here.

Lemonade Corporation

HT: Justin Taylor's blog

What Great Managers Know

From First, Break All the Rules by Marcus Buckingham, the point is made that great managers don't assume that they can correct or add lacking traits in their employees. Rather, they know that there is a limit to how much they can remold someone's nature. So, instead of bemoaning differences among employees, they capitalize on them.

"They try to help each person become more and more of who he already is.

Simply put, this is the one insight we heard echoed by tens of thousands of great managers:

People don't change that much.
Don't waste time trying to put in what was left out.
Try to draw out what was left in.
That is hard enough."

Conquering Anxiety and Panic - David Powlison

This was a message presented by David Powlison (a good introduction to Powlison posted by Justin Taylor is posted here) on the topic of panic attacks, anxiety and fears. I have written below a fairly comprehensive outline of what was said, but if you want the main points, check out the conclusion toward the bottom.

Goals of message

1. "I want to communicate "feel" for a change process, "feel" for a person growing; what are the elements, pieces; what is going on where someone who has struggled intensely with these "free-fall", just utterly destructive patterns of fear-- the most extreme; what are ways that they go forward?"

2. Hope that all listening will, "by getting a certain kind of orientation, will not be intimidated, to be willing to enter very hard, deep waters with other people;" that underlying the scope and depth of the problem are certain points of continuity, of identity, there's no temptation that overtaken that's not common to all, that we'd have a confidence to not ourselves be stricken with fear because we're dealing with someone else who's absolutely ripped apart by fear.

3. To get some practical sense of direction

*Other introductory note is that these are fear experiences that are not generated by something outside of you, but rather the attacker is you, it's inside of you

I. Point 1

4 Scenarios with trajectories that can lead to panic:

1. Living double lives, guilt, pressure ("Paul" story)

2. There was a "traumatic event", where one encounters their fragility and lack of control

3. Pressure upon pressure, and eventually they break. "Straw that breaks the camel's back" occurs

4. The experience is extremely narrowly focused on one particular object. "phobias"

**There is a common thread that runs through all of these, where they all have in common the sense of precariousness, and the fragility of life, and our vulnerability and the fact that there's these things that are bigger than us that we cannot control that are very, very threatening.

Basic elements of genuine change (deep, ongoing, with staying-power):

1. A "Reckoning" with deeper connections, with wider issues.

2. He started to hear another's voice-- God's voice.

3. Not only does hear another voice, but he gains a voice.

There's someone you can talk with. There's something about gaining a voice that is the opposite of this fear experience, this fundamentally isolated experience that one has.

4. It's not just vertical. There's someone else there along with your for encouragement.

5. You start to see an outreaching care for other people.

6. There is an "unfolding" change process.

The difference between Christian perspective and our culture, is that the culture sees these horrendous symptoms, and says "if you can just take the edge off with medicine, fantasies, etc."... Christianity has brought in the lens because it has a sense of a far-more comprehensive change process.

..."from the Christian standpoint, you don't necessarily nail the fear experience in its extreme version directly and then hope it trickles out. You actually nail the whole life, and it inevitably ripples in and touches those more extreme experiences of fear."

Find commonality in fear experience

What you find is that everyone, if they're honest, has the ability to identify with the essential core experience, and it is that:

• We are vulnerable
• We are weak
• We are fragile
  
• There is something about the human condition that is fundamentally unable to control the world and unable to guarantee our own life
• We are dependent even by our own creation.
  

We live in a world that is fundamentally evil. But God reverses this evil, both in this life and in the final reversal.


Our role in supporting someone suffering from panic (1 Thess 5:14):

• Encourage the fainthearted-- There's no analysis, no admonishment; it's just straight encouragement. You're there with them, you're not leaving
• Help ("hang on to") the weak - In the panic experience, it is the one best thing we have to offer is in a sense you "hang on", you're there as an anchor of sanity in a world of madness, of courage in a world of terror, etc...

Out of the box, we're working more in the "hold on" and "encourage" part of the ministry.

Notes on Phobias
Phobias "named fears" are actually too narrow of a focus of fear, attributing a fear to one defined thing, when in reality we are far vulnerable and lack control in a far wider spectrum.

The "unnameable fears", which are attributed to the panic attack, anxiety attack, dark abyss, etc., are just chaos, while with phobias --"named fears"-- point out specific dangers. With panic, it's just absolute chaos and destruction, you don't know what's coming at you.

One of the goals in helping a person with phobias is you really almost want to "broaden" the problem. There's something else that's bigger than that fear. Maybe they're without God and without hope in this world, and death is writing their script...

With panic, you actually want them to "name" the different sources of fear so that it's not just blank panic going on.

Meditating on Luke 12

The birds of the air, the lilies-- there is a fundamental vulnerability in all the world. We are fundamentally weak. We are dying, we are mortal.

You want to have good reasons for fear. Reasoning your way out of your fears is never is never big enough. The fears are too unreasonable, and the fears are too real underneath.

** The truth is, all that we work for will come to nothing. Death is all that's guaranteed, and the real marvel is that we're all "kooks", going crazy with panic, because this reality applies to all. Without a saving knowledge of the resurrection of Christ, we have no hope.



Summary: Relate your way Forward

You can't reason your way out of the fears of life, but you can relate your way forward in life. That relating gets you out of the "isolation" of the fear experience. It makes you connect to God and to others.

1. Involve others, or Be the Involved Other

If you're the sufferer: Involve others. Ask for help. God has designed it that having someone in the room is part of solving the problem with fear, that there's someone else there.

If you're the helper: This is a situation where you are truly powerless. You can't fix or control the other person's panic attack. And you're being asked to "jump in" to someone else's free fall, and you ask "who am I that I should be able to help this person?"

-- think of Moses asking God, "who am I?" God comforts him, "I'll go with you."

"The medicine for the helper is always the medicine for the needy. It's always the way God does it. It's terrific. It's a wonderful dynamic-- for grace, for grace, for grace, for grace."


2. Though we can't reason our way out of the whole, we can make sense of what' s going on. It's something bigger than the moment

a. It's very important for our self and others to face what we're afraid of. What is it? Name it, identify it.

• If the person's got phobias, broaden the identification-- it's usually a fear of death or a fear of being out of control. There is always an underlying fear, and it's isolated on a specific object.
• If it's panic, what are the evils, the troubles, the hardships that they are afraid of. This is not rocket science. (The fear of failing, fear of death, fear of running out of money). These are the things that become monsters in people's lives.
  

b. Identify what your wants

• "Fear" and "want" are just two sides of the same coin. Fear is what I don't want, and it always implies something that you want. It usually is a good thing, but it's not good enough to build your life on.
  
• Example: "I want to live, not die"-- living is a good thing, but it's not good enough because it's fundamentally precarious and you are going to die; it's good to want friends, but it's not good enough because friends will betray you and fail you
  
• This identifies the idolatries of the heart

3. Be able to make sense of "What is my specific need for God's mercies?"

• Christ is the only true hope of the fearful
• When you can sort out the fears, you know who to call and what to say

It's not enough to just focus on Bible verses. Talk! Talk to God, get out of your head and talk to God. If God is Soveriegn and good and we need help, ask for help.

4. Walk openly with other people

- Be"sowing" to the needs of others (sowing implies you don't know what's going to happen); Like St. Francis of Assisi, pray, "Lord, make me an instrument of your peace. Where there is fear let me sow courage and hope and love; And Lord, where there is panic, let me sow safety and trust."

-We should be willing to go into people's lives and sow good things that will have a ripple effect in their lives

-One of the wonderful things about the way the Bible works is that all the things that are bad have this wonderful, redemptive alternative. For example, love is a good, holy anxiety for someone else's welfare. Phil 2, 2 Cor 12. We want to feel a holy anxiety, so that we can act on behalf of others.

Christian Classics: The Duties of Parents

The Duties of Parents by J.C. Ryle.

This was one of about 15 outstanding classic short books I received via mail from the Chapel Library, which offers all of its materials free of charge. This particular work has proven very timely as our 2-year-old son, Cameron, is in a season of exhibiting both humble obedience and foolish rebellion. Kerry and I are often finding ourselves in challenging situations that demand a quick response, but we often encounter situations that are difficult to discern, and in general had lacked a vision for what godly training of our children looks like.

For this reason, I have found "The Duties of Parents", written nearly 150 years ago by pastor J.C. Ryle, to be a timeless and exceedingly helpful resource, and would recommend it to any Christian parent as a clear framework for developing a vision for "training" your children. The booklet is relatively short and describes 17 areas of "training" for parents to prayerfully consider. The book is easy to read and my copy was only 35 pages long, so it can be read in one sitting. You can also read it for free here. Here's a few highlights from the book:


The foundational verse of the book is:

"Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it." -- Prov. 22:6

Ryle begins with the argument that this text, though well known among most Christians, is not heeded. Thus the Lord's promise "when he is old, he will not depart from it", he argues, is not fulfilled. He asks the reader to ask himself, "Am I in this matter doing what I can?"

The 17 key principles/exhortations of Ryle directed toward parents are as follows:

1. First, then, if you would train your children rightly, train them in the way they should go, and not in the way that they would.
2. Train up your child with all tenderness, affection, and patience
3. Train your children with an abiding persuasion on your mind that much depends upon you
4. Train with this thought continually before your eyes-- that the soul of your child is the first thing to be considered.
5. Train your child to a knowledge of the Bible
6. Train them to a habit of prayer
7. Train them to habits of diligence, and regularity about public means of grace
8. Train them to a habit of faith
9. Train them to a habit of obedience
10. Train them to a habit of always speaking the truth
11. Train them to a habit of always redeeming the time
12. Train them with a constant fear of over-indulgence
13. Train them remembering continually how God trains His children.
14. Train them remembering continually the influence; of your example
15. Train them remembering continually the power of sin.
16. Train them remembering continually the promises of Scripture.
17. Train them, lastly, with continual prayer for a blessing on all you do.
    

Some brief comments:

-On #1: Followers of "Love and Logic" parenting strategies will conflict with this first point

-On #2: I find this point exceeding important and one of the most difficult. Ryle compares a child's mind to a lump of metal-- "not to be forged and made useful at once, but only by a succession of little blows." And, "their understandings are like narrow-necked vessels: we must pour in the wine of knowledge gradually, or much of it will be spilled and lost. 'Line upon line, and precept upon precept, here a little and there a little.'" He urges the parent to "try hard to keep up a hold on your child's affections", for "it is a dangerous thing to make your children afraid of you."

-On #3: A good point on the fact that we can't "convert" child. Ryle concedes this is absolutely true, but that God also expressly says,"Train up a child in the way he should go", and "He never laid a command on man which He would not give man grace to perform," and that "our duty is not to stand still and dispute, but to go forward and obey".

-On # 4: The idea of training your child for heaven, not for earth, has been impactful. This overlaps with other points, but gives meaning to witholding pleasures and comforts in this world.

-On #5: "Fill their minds with Scripture. Let the Word dwell in them richly. Give them the Bible, the whole Bible, even while they are young". I plan to give my son an ESV Study Bible as soon as he's able to read.

-On #6: This chapter could stand alone as an exhortation to pray:

"Prayer is the simplest means that man can use in coming to God."

"Prayer is on great secret of spiritual prosperity. When there is much private communion with God, your soul will grow like the grass after rain; when there is little, all will be at a standstill, you will barely keep your soul alive. Show me a growing Christian, a going forward Christian, a strong Christian, a flourishing Christian, and sure am I, he is one that speaks often with his Lord. He asks much, and he has much."

"Prayer is the mightiest engine God has placed in our hands. It is the best weapon to use in every difficulty, and the surest remedy in every trouble. It is the key that unlocks the treasury of promises, and the hand that draws forth grace and help in time of need. It is the silver trumpet God commands us to sound in all our necessity, and it is the cry He has promised always to attend to, even as a loving mother to the voice of her child."

"This, remember, is the first step in religion which a child is able to take."

On #8: Train your child to be content to obey without having full understanding of "why"

On #9: On the importance of teaching your children that obedience is of the highest importance (this will clash greatly with our culture):

"Parents, do you wish to see your children happy? Take care, then, that you train them to obey when they are spoken to, --to do as they are bid. Believe me, we are not made for entire independence, -- we are not fit for it".

On #11: Ryle says, "Idleness is the devil's best friend. It is the surest way to give him an opportunity of doing us harm."

On #12: Scriptures sited are Prov 13:24, Prov 22:15, Prov 23:13-14, Prov 29:15,17.

"Reader, if there be any point which deserves your attention, believe me, it is this one. It is one that will give you trouble, I know. But if you do not take trouble with your children when they are young, they will give you trouble when they are old. Choose which you prefer."

On # 13: See Exod. 13:17, Num. 21:4, 2 Cor 12:8,9

On # 14: "Fathers and mothers, do not forget that children learn more by the eye than they do by the ear. No school will make such deep marks on characters as home."