Nowadays, it is fairly well known that almost 90% of teens who profess Christianity leave the church by the end of their first year of college. There seems to be a great deal of uncertainty as to how our kids should be raised, and what the church's and the parents' roles are in all this. But the fact that 1 out of 10 kids who claim to be Christians actually continue in the faith after high school is a red flag that something is wrong with today's norms.
When I started reading Voddie Baucham's diagnosis and solution to this the problem, outlined in his book Family Driven Faith, I have to admit I was very skeptical. From the few times I have listened to his sermons , I knew Baucham was a gifted and passionate preacher, and was not afraid to be controversial, no matter how "unpopular" his view may be. I knew he was very well-grounded theologically, and I think I can say "Amen" to almost everything he says about the foundational doctrines, but when it comes to his views on what it looks like to "obey" the Word of God in all manners of life, such as how to raise kids, I sometimes find myself in uncharted and unknown territory. Particularly on the issue of raising kids, I've always felt the Bible was clear that we were to "bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord," but I have agonized over the many views in Christian teaching on how this is applied. So, all that's to say that, in picking up this book, I was expecting to deal with some "uncomfortable" topics for me.
And as I read through the book, many parts did make me uncomfortable-- but in a good way. I didn't realize it, but before I read this book I had assumed a lot of things about how my kids would grow up, without questioning the biblical foundation of it all. I had never ever questioned the thought of my kids going to public school, nor had I considered having regular times of family worship and doing things that would shape my children's worldview. As Baucham states repeatedly, these are decisions worth wrestling with and testing.
Baucham seeks to challenge his readers (namely parents, especially fathers/husbands) to wrestle with what God would call them to do in light of what the Bible says about raising children, and to consider the Biblical standards related to managing the family (such as Eph. 6:1-4, 1 Timothy 3, Titus 1, and 1 Peter 5). One of his primary aims in Family Driven Faith is to inspire his readers to invest in their children with a view toward multigenerational faithfulness.
With this goal in mind, noting that it's impossible without the sovereign work of God (though I would say this is not emphasized enough), Baucham pleads with the reader to wrestle with societal norms for parenting, which tend to place faithfulness to Christ at the bottom of the priority list. I agreed with his descriptions of our culture, in that, upon closer examination, the American culture is predominantly anti-marriage and anti-child in nature. But what I really appreciated is that every area of weakness in typical child-rearing and youth ministry structures were countered with a great deal of biblically-supported ideas pointing to an alternative direction.
For example, I knew from the beginning that it would take a strong argument and a great deal of powerful persuasion to get me to even begin to think positively about homeschooling our own kids (the main reason being that we simply don't think we are capable of doing it well). My position didn't budge until I considered Baucham's words (directed toward cynics like myself) on page 123:
Before you run off screaming, "Another homeschool dad trying to convince us all to do what he does," let me assure you of a couple of things. First, I would never suggest that everyone should educate his or her children the same way we educate ours. Second, I don't want to make it that easy. I want you to think about what the Bible has to say on the subject and wrestle with the decision you have to make. That being said, let's look at some key biblical passages and their implications.
Proverbs 1:7 is foundational to our discussion. Solomon tells us, "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge" (cf. Job 28:28; Psalm 111:10; Proverbs 9:10; 15:33; Ecclesiastes 12:13). In other words, our educational choice has to be based on the fact that God cannot and must not be ignored in the process. Any educational system that denies the existence, preeminence, and primacy of God is in violation of this biblical principle and is detracting from, rather than contributing to, the discipleship process.
He goes on make what is, in my opinion, a strong argument for how difficult it is to develop a Biblical worldview in your child in government schools, as opposed to educating at home, which makes sense in light of Romans 12:2, Col. 2:8, and 1 Timothy 6:20-21. He says, "Clearly, believers are to avoid unnecessary exposure to worldview influences that would contradict and/or undermine biblical truth. Again, any educational choice we make must take this biblical principal into account."
Baucham offers many other ideas that greatly challenged my conceptions of discipling our children. Among these is setting aside times for family worship, a concept which, as a result of Baucham's persuasive arguments and helpful instruction, I've already put into practice with my own family.
With all of the "hot-spots" Baucham touches on in Family Driven Faith, I would say that the most "radical" ideas of the book are in the final two chapters, where Baucham argues for a paradigm shift from the contemporary "age-segregated" church model to what is called a "Family-Integrated" church structure, the structure his own church uses (and apparently many others across the country). In this structure there is no nursery, no children's church, no youth-ministry, and no other program that is designed to target specific age groups. Rather, everything the church does, it does in the context of the family, regardless of age. I have to admit, this is hard to imagine, especially with two children who at times are out of control and rebellious. Before reading this book I would have never imagined sitting through a church service with them sitting next to me. But this is an incredibly thought-provoking section that has probably forever changed the way I look at our church structure, which tends to place the "discipleship" responsibility on the youth leader and not on the parents. The statistics demonstrate well the effectiveness of this approach.
I appreciate that Baucham does caution his readers who might be persuaded toward a Family-Integrated Church model to not try to overthrow their churches with these ideas. He points out that if they're a leader, they would likely meet a lot of opposition and possibly get fired (he knows people who have), and he encourages non-leaders like me to simply pray.
Overall, I'd say this is a book that I recommend to any Christian who's willing to wrestle with the role of the family in discipling our children. I may change my mind in one direction or the other on the positions for which Baucham argues, but I am deeply appreciative of Baucham's book and the challenges it rings out.
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