Book Review : God, Marriage, and Family

I know without a doubt that I’ll be referring back to God, Marriage and Family by Andreas J. Köstenberger for the next 40-plus years I expect to be alive, granted that I don’t die or Jesus returns. In this book Köstenberger gives a thorough analysis of what the Bible teaches on the institutions of Marriage and Family. Here’s a key statement from the book:

Both the Old and the New Testament present a coherent body of teachings pertaining to marriage and the family. From the Garden of Eden, to Israel, to Jesus, to the early church, to Paul, all uphold a very high standard in this crucial area of life. While countless times individuals fell and will fall short of God’s ideal, Scripture makes clear that the Creator’s standard for marriage and family remains intact—it was instituted at Creation, and is expected of humankind today. In this as well as in other areas, in the first century as today, Christianity towers above pagan cultures and displays the character of a holy God in the lives and relationships of his people. (275)

This book was honestly a challenge for me mentally, as the book was written at more of a pastor/scholar level. Also, I found that some of the topics were more interesting to me than others, requiring a bit of discipline, but that is my weakness and not the book's. Overall it was well worth working through this book to not only deepen my understanding of what the Bible teaches, but to also familiarize myself with it, knowing I'll be returning to it again and again as a helpful resource. Not only does Köstenberger spend a great deal of the book attempting to address everything the Bible says about marriage and family (Old Testament and New Testament), but he also thoroughly addresses many moral issues associated with family: divorce, abortion, birth-control methods, homosexuality, singleness, etc.

One thing that struck me as I read this book was the impact ignorance can play these areas of life. For instance, early in our marriage, when Kerry and I were trying to decide which “family-planning” method to use, we did not only lack in our understanding of how these methods actually worked, but we also lacked a biblical understanding of the sanctity of life and when life actually begins (inside or outside the womb). We thank God that our understanding deepened before we were married, and were thus able to avoid methods that were “abortive” in nature, but had we not sought out biblical wisdom and discernment in these issues and instead gone with our "natural" inclinations, we would have likely made a deeply regrettable decision. Köstenberger wrestles with issues like these in-depth and gives some helpful and practical guidelines for discernment.

The resources toward the end of the book are outstanding (171 of the book’s 448 pages are resources for further study!), and the overall format is easy to use as a reference. Not only do I plan to turn to this book much in the future, but I would highly recommend this book to anyone, especially elders, parents, or students of the Bible.

Book Review : Family Driven Faith

Nowadays, it is fairly well known that almost 90% of teens who profess Christianity leave the church by the end of their first year of college. There seems to be a great deal of uncertainty as to how our kids should be raised, and what the church's and the parents' roles are in all this. But the fact that 1 out of 10 kids who claim to be Christians actually continue in the faith after high school is a red flag that something is wrong with today's norms.

When I started reading Voddie Baucham's diagnosis and solution to this the problem, outlined in his book Family Driven Faith, I have to admit I was very skeptical. From the few times I have listened to his sermons , I knew Baucham was a gifted and passionate preacher, and was not afraid to be controversial, no matter how "unpopular" his view may be. I knew he was very well-grounded theologically, and I think I can say "Amen" to almost everything he says about the foundational doctrines, but when it comes to his views on what it looks like to "obey" the Word of God in all manners of life, such as how to raise kids, I sometimes find myself in uncharted and unknown territory. Particularly on the issue of raising kids, I've always felt the Bible was clear that we were to "bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord," but I have agonized over the many views in Christian teaching on how this is applied. So, all that's to say that, in picking up this book, I was expecting to deal with some "uncomfortable" topics for me.

And as I read through the book, many parts did make me uncomfortable-- but in a good way. I didn't realize it, but before I read this book I had assumed a lot of things about how my kids would grow up, without questioning the biblical foundation of it all. I had never ever questioned the thought of my kids going to public school, nor had I considered having regular times of family worship and doing things that would shape my children's worldview. As Baucham states repeatedly, these are decisions worth wrestling with and testing.

Baucham seeks to challenge his readers (namely parents, especially fathers/husbands) to wrestle with what God would call them to do in light of what the Bible says about raising children, and to consider the Biblical standards related to managing the family (such as Eph. 6:1-4, 1 Timothy 3, Titus 1, and 1 Peter 5). One of his primary aims in Family Driven Faith is to inspire his readers to invest in their children with a view toward multigenerational faithfulness.

With this goal in mind, noting that it's impossible without the sovereign work of God (though I would say this is not emphasized enough), Baucham pleads with the reader to wrestle with societal norms for parenting, which tend to place faithfulness to Christ at the bottom of the priority list. I agreed with his descriptions of our culture, in that, upon closer examination, the American culture is predominantly anti-marriage and anti-child in nature. But what I really appreciated is that every area of weakness in typical child-rearing and youth ministry structures were countered with a great deal of biblically-supported ideas pointing to an alternative direction.

For example, I knew from the beginning that it would take a strong argument and a great deal of powerful persuasion to get me to even begin to think positively about homeschooling our own kids (the main reason being that we simply don't think we are capable of doing it well). My position didn't budge until I considered Baucham's words (directed toward cynics like myself) on page 123:

Before you run off screaming, "Another homeschool dad trying to convince us all to do what he does," let me assure you of a couple of things. First, I would never suggest that everyone should educate his or her children the same way we educate ours. Second, I don't want to make it that easy. I want you to think about what the Bible has to say on the subject and wrestle with the decision you have to make. That being said, let's look at some key biblical passages and their implications.

Proverbs 1:7 is foundational to our discussion. Solomon tells us, "The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge" (cf. Job 28:28; Psalm 111:10; Proverbs 9:10; 15:33; Ecclesiastes 12:13). In other words, our educational choice has to be based on the fact that God cannot and must not be ignored in the process. Any educational system that denies the existence, preeminence, and primacy of God is in violation of this biblical principle and is detracting from, rather than contributing to, the discipleship process.

He goes on make what is, in my opinion, a strong argument for how difficult it is to develop a Biblical worldview in your child in government schools, as opposed to educating at home, which makes sense in light of Romans 12:2, Col. 2:8, and 1 Timothy 6:20-21. He says, "Clearly, believers are to avoid unnecessary exposure to worldview influences that would contradict and/or undermine biblical truth. Again, any educational choice we make must take this biblical principal into account."

Baucham offers many other ideas that greatly challenged my conceptions of discipling our children. Among these is setting aside times for family worship, a concept which, as a result of Baucham's persuasive arguments and helpful instruction, I've already put into practice with my own family.

With all of the "hot-spots" Baucham touches on in Family Driven Faith, I would say that the most "radical" ideas of the book are in the final two chapters, where Baucham argues for a paradigm shift from the contemporary "age-segregated" church model to what is called a "Family-Integrated" church structure, the structure his own church uses (and apparently many others across the country). In this structure there is no nursery, no children's church, no youth-ministry, and no other program that is designed to target specific age groups. Rather, everything the church does, it does in the context of the family, regardless of age. I have to admit, this is hard to imagine, especially with two children who at times are out of control and rebellious. Before reading this book I would have never imagined sitting through a church service with them sitting next to me. But this is an incredibly thought-provoking section that has probably forever changed the way I look at our church structure, which tends to place the "discipleship" responsibility on the youth leader and not on the parents. The statistics demonstrate well the effectiveness of this approach.

I appreciate that Baucham does caution his readers who might be persuaded toward a Family-Integrated Church model to not try to overthrow their churches with these ideas. He points out that if they're a leader, they would likely meet a lot of opposition and possibly get fired (he knows people who have), and he encourages non-leaders like me to simply pray.

Overall, I'd say this is a book that I recommend to any Christian who's willing to wrestle with the role of the family in discipling our children. I may change my mind in one direction or the other on the positions for which Baucham argues, but I am deeply appreciative of Baucham's book and the challenges it rings out.

Book Review : A Praying Life

This has been a wonderful season for me in reading the Bible consistently and vigorously. The Gospel has spoken deep to my heart with new richness, and my intimidation with the Old Testament is slowly being replaced with interest and wonder. The thing that has haunted me, though, is reading passages like Matthew 7:21-23 and Matthew 25:31-46, where Christ is judging man according to what they have done, how they lived their life. In these passages, it seems that a key characteristic of those who have a real faith in Christ is that Christ says he knows them. There is a relationship there. I looked at my current relationship with God, and it honestly seemed disconnected from what Christ was talking about. I talk to God occasionally, but most of my time "dedicated" to Him is in the morning or on my drive to work, and is spent reading, learning and thinking about Him and very little prayer. I began to realize I didn't really know how to pray, nor was I sure if I really believed that prayer was anything more than "talking to air."

That's why, when Kevin DeYoung listed A Praying Life by Paul E. Miller as his #1 book of 2009, I immediately used my Christmas gift money to buy it on Amazon. Two weeks later, I would have to say this has been one of the most helpful and encouraging books I've ever read, in both prayer and parenting... more on that later.

One of the book's strengths is that Miller has written to a broad audience with broad struggles, brilliantly weaving and connecting his personal journey throughout the book. I'm sure that because he's conducted conferences about prayer for many years, he has heard the most common objections and struggles that lead people to a shallow prayer life. With great clarity, in A Praying Life, Miller acknowledges the negative extremes that people move toward and then humbly points the reader back toward the Good Shepherd. For the one who is influenced by mysticism he teaches the reader to watch the story God is weaving with hope, that you don't miss his beautiful work, and to seek God, not an experience. To the person who struggles with asking anything of an all-knowing, all-powerful God, he points to the child-like faith Christ talked about. He dedicates a significant portion of the book to "following Jesus out of cynicism."

I truly enjoyed this book, and I think the main reason for this is Miller's personal stories involving his daughter with severe autism, and all that God has showed him over the twenty-plus years of raising her and four other children. As I have found raising my own three-year-old son to be the most humbling responsibility I've ever taken on, I was heartened by Miller's teaching and enabled to see the role God is playing through these struggles.

Not only do I plan to read this book again and again, but this is a book I would recommend to any person who wants to pray better... in other words, it should be a must-read for every Christian.

Book Review : Tactics

Two months ago, the very thought of bringing up spiritual topics with those of "opposing views" would have terrified me. Even after reading several books on evangelism and going through the Way of the Master program through my church, I had very little confidence in my methods for bringing up spiritual concerns, let alone in how to make the best use of the opportunities that came up on their own.

I have finally read a book that has completely changed my mindset. After reading Tim Challies' review, I knew had I had to give the book a try, and I was not disappointed. The book is called Tactics, and is written by Gregory Koukl, who, according to the back of the book, "holds MA degrees in both apologetics and philosophy", and has "spoken on many college campuses and hosted his own radio talk show for 18 years defending 'Christianity Worth Thinking About'". So now let's talk about the book...

The first two chapters of Tactics lay some foundation on why Christians should "argue", addressing many of his readers' reservations along the way. Koukl describes how one needs three basic skills in order to effectively represent Christ, or in other words, to be his ambassadors in the twenty-first-century: knowledge, wisdom, and character. He says:

These three skills-- knowledge, an accurately informed mind; wisdom, an artful method; and character, an attractive manner-- play a part in every effective involvement with a non-believer. The second skill, tactical wisdom, is the main focus of this book.

Koukl later defines what he means by "Tactics", saying that they involve focusing on the situation at hand, designing your "particular responses to particular people so you can begin to have an impact in specific situations". He says tactics can help because they offer techniques of maneuvering through difficult situations.

The first and most valuable in terms of flexibility and adaptability of all of the tactics is what he calls "Columbo". In fact, half of the book is dedicated to this tactic. Here's how Koukl describes it:

The key to the Columbo tactic is to go on the offensive in an inoffensive way by using carefully selected questions to productively advance the conversation. Simply put, never make a statement, at least at first, when a question will do the job.

For me, the Columbo tactic was by far one of the most helpful concepts that I gleaned from the book. The three basic steps to the tactic, each step having a chapter devoted to it, are:

1. Gather the facts ("What did you mean by that?")
2. Reverse the burden of proof ("How did you come to that conclusion?")
3. Lead the way

Koukl points out many of the advantages to asking questions (instead of responding with statements. For instance:

• Questions are friendly and flattering
• You'll get an education
• Questions allow you to make progress on a point without being pushy
• Carefully placed questions put you in the driver's seat

He goes into great detail using hypothetical (but common) situations to illustrate the tactics behind the Columbo method. This is the "Game Plan" section of the book.

The second half in the book goes into the nitty-gritty tactics for finding flaws in peoples' arguments. Some of these "deconstructions" were really helpful for me, such as the section on the "prohibition of proselytizing", or sharing the Christian faith in an attempt to influence someone to become a Christian. When someone objects, saying "You should stop trying to change other people's religions views," their statement has a fundamental flaw, because by making that statement, they are trying to change the Christian's religious views, which command sharing the gospel to all people.

However, I could see many people objecting to how "simply" Koukl points out flaws to some of the more complicated theological issues. For instance, his section on Theistic Evolution is so simple that there's no way it would persuade a theistic evolutionist (see some of the discussion on Challies' blog).

Overall, I found Tactics to be an excellent book on discussing spiritually issues with in a non-offensive manner. The message is offensive enough, without the messenger getting in the way. I certainly will be coming back to this book again and again in years to come.

Book Review: Peace Like a River

As I navigated the final pages of Leif Enger's first novel Peace Like a River, my heart was thumping and tears were welling up. This book affected me deeply. In fact, after finally completing the work a week ago I would venture to say it was one of the most powerful illustrations of the Christian life that I have ever encountered. And in many ways, I would argue, it portrays a vivid and gripping "Biblical" understanding of what true godliness looks like. Here's a few thoughts on the Leif Enger's work:

Peace Like a River is told through the eyes of eleven-year-old Reuben Land, who speaks with the sort of voice you'd find in a Mark Twain novel, fresh and unique. To illustrate, here are the opening words of the book:

From my first breath in this world, all I wanted was a good set of lungs and the air to fill them with-- given circumstances, you might presume, for an American baby of the twentieth century. Think about your own first gasp: a shocking wind roweling so easily down your throat, and you still slipping around in the doctor's hands. How you you yowled! Not a thing on your mind but breakfast, and that was on the way.

When I was born to Helen and Jeremiah Land, in 1951, my lungs refused to kick in

My father wasn't in the delivery room or even in the building; the halls of Wilson Hospital were close and short, and Dad had gone out to pace in the damp September wind. He was praying, rounding the block for the fifth time, when the air quickened. He opened his eyes and discovered he was running-- sprinting across the grass toward the door.

"How'd you know?" I adored this story, made him tell it all the time.

"God told me you were in trouble."

"Out loud? Did you hear Him?"

"Nope, not out loud. But He made me run, Reuben. I guess I figured it out on the way."

As you read on, Peace Like a River unfolds in riveting fashion-- I'll leave the surprise to you. But what really captured my imagination was interplay between the life of a man completely devoted to God-- Jeremiah Land, Reuben's father-- and the world about him, which was filled with every kind of evil. The reality that this world is not our home and is in fact hostile to God is painted with a flavor of real truth. This worldview is nowhere as clearly defined as it is at the end of the first chapter in the words of Jeremiah Land:

We and the world, my children, will always be at war.

Retreat is impossible.

Arm yourselves.

So many other "Biblical" truths are played out in Enger's story, as well: the consequences and destruction that follow disobedience to authority, the moral dilemmas of speaking truthfully verses lying, the interaction between God's sovereignty and human choice, the goodness and love of God... And then there's the subject of "miracles", which is to the narrator of primary importance. As Reuben pondered the amazing miracles God performed through his father, beginning with the first miracle of raising Reuben from the dead as a baby, he said the following:

I believe I was preserved, through those twelve airless minutes, in order to be a witness, and as a witness, let me say that a miracle is no cute thing but more like the swing of a sword. (Itallics mine)

Overall, Leif Enger's first major novel appears to be one that may stand the test of time as one of the best under the category of Christian fiction. Read this book. I think you'll like it.

Also worth checking out: What John Piper has to say about Peace Like a River .